HOMEWORK HOTLINE
Few things in life are as precious as the innocence of youth. But if you’re like me and you’d rather have an erudite adolescent at the cost of $2 dollars per minute than a wholesome little dipshit, go right ahead and get the folks at your local ‘Homework Hotline’ to mentally taint your mathematically challenged youngster. Because if a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth being done entirely by a fiscally troubled teacher or student on your behalf.
This homework hotline specialises in dealing with children who take in information at the same speed my cat taxis people to Heathrow airport at; an entirely appropriate target audience considering that it’s an advert intended to be broadcast within Louisiana. (This judgement was brought to you by Bob Davidge and the good people WVLA-TV Homework Hotline - where excruciatingly painful is good enough.)
I don’t know what would be more of a hassle: sitting through a painful 50 minutes of Homework Hotline waiting for your question to be answered, or actually doing your homework. So to find out I actually arranged and attended a Q&A session with Steve Utter and a number of fans prior to the writing of this blog with the idea of informing us further. Unfortunately Steve, still evidently numbed from his visit to the Homework Hotline HQ in Louisiana, paced off halfway through mumbling ‘I hope that helps’, leaving me desperately in the lurch. HELP ME HOMEWORK HOTLINE!
The danger of relying on such a service is that for all you know, the people on the other end could be as incompetent as you, as is clear in this following video titled ‘Homework Hotline goes horribly wrong.’ I doubt Homework Hotline could have found a creepier person to work the telephones and, as his acting skills show, he’s clearly not going to be able to help you with your drama homework.
THANKS ALOT.
