London’s Burning
Dear fellow British Patriot,
When will we learn that we can never hope to harness the uncontrollable power of nature? No, innocent reader, I am not talking of wind, wasps or Clostridium botulinum, but of fire, humankind’s oldest foe and the single biggest threat to the indigenous British people. Unfortunately, given successive government’s failure to recognise the overwhelming importance to the British people of such a burning issue, the threat of fire in Britain has been left unchecked. Waiting silently to pounce and feed upon our pale buttery skin, the current open-door policy regarding fire both threatens our national identity and jeopardises community spirit in the creation of an atomised society. It is for these very reasons that, whether I’m at a barbecue, firework display or the Celadon City Gym, I flat out refuse to use fire, knowing full well the dangers of fundamental radical combustion. Put plainly, fire will continue to spread, not resting until it makes us a minority in our own country as part of a fiery caliphate.
It therefore seems natural that the brave souls who risk their lives everyday in the hope of the preservation of our National identity should be celebrated in some form of serialised television programme. Enter London’s Burning, where true British heroes are celebrated.
The best part of this scene is the sudden mood swing from light-hearted banter to shock and disgust. If you happen to miss that pivotal moment due to being distracted by how sweaty they all are, it’s clearly marked by the clatter of spoons (as is the case in all ITV dramas since 1994).
Unfortunately, despite London’s Burning ability to delicately handle complex and challenging issues, LB was cancelled after over 170 episodes despite at one time having over 17 million viewers. This was just another example of socialist fire loving pigs dictating that we can’t be proud of our country. Action was needed. The history books will look favourably upon ‘14BrownBrown’, who shall go down in lore as a radical thinker, unconstrained by the oppressive system.
‘I think this video is brilliant and should bring back Londons Burning. i have got some ideas of setting up a facebook page and then going to ITV … .What do u think??’
In the event that this plan does work, (the Facebook page clearly highlights its popularity) I’ve prepared a few episode names that really write themselves:
London’s burning…again!
Too hot to handle!
If it’s too hot, stay out of the kitchen!
Where there is smoke, there is fire!
Fire…in the hole!
Give them hellfire!
Gas mark danger!
Ready, aim, FIRE!
Fire in the disco!
Chariots of fire!
Love like wildfire!
Flaming gayboy likes it hot!
Unfortunately, some have already given up the ghost and decided to say goodbye to London’s Burning. In this pretty disturbing video package, we see the good times, the bad times, the sad times and the times where people decide to draw cock and balls on funeral bouquet cards (pause at 2.16). This attitude is quite frankly appalling and one that is endemic throughout our society. Enough is enough! Bringing back London’s Burning is the only genuine alternative to the pyro-extremism that is is flooding the streets of Britain. We don’t care about the nasty names the media liars and politicians call London’s Burning by; we love our country and our children, and we are proud of London’s Burning. For it will rise again.
Sincerely,
An English Farmer.
